How to Stop Being Shy
Some people are natural extrovert and some are natural introverts. Being shy isn’t the end of the world but for many it can have a genuinely very suppressive impact on their lives. Addressing this issue is not straightforward and but it is only by confronting it that you can begin understanding how to stop being shy. It will most likely be very uncomfortable at first but it’s a pain that will get easier gradually, to the point when eventually it is just a thing of the past and you no longer fear social interaction at all.
How to Overcome Shyness
There are many advantages in learning how to overcome shyness. You will tend to meet more people and come across more opportunities. Rightly or wrongly, a confident individual will tend to make a better first impression than someone lacking confidence.
Make an effort to meet people – You can’t stop being shy if you’re not meeting new people. Staying inside the house and becoming a recluse will only reinforce and deepen your insecurities. However, by confronting the issue head on the process of building your confidence will soon begin. By heading out regularly to places where you could meet people such as coffee shops, libraries and supermarkets is a great place to begin. To make this process as comfortable as possible you should go somewhere that makes you feel comfortable. Ideally it should also be a place that interests you, as this interest can then be shared with other people. It’s always easier to talk to someone with similar passions to your own.
Make an effort to strike up conversations – This will be very difficult for a shy individual initially, but it is completely necessary if they are to become more confident. You just have to bite your lip and get on with it. As long as you don’t act strange it shouldn’t be an embarrassing ordeal. Just make small talk about subjects that you have in common, don’t prolong the conversation too long and when you feel it is coming to a end just say your good byes and walk away. Not every conversation you have is going to go well, but they wont go too badly if you just keep everything light hearted and easy. Also try to keep the conversation focused on the other person. People love to talk about themselves and it will take the pressure off you to seem interesting.
Get Introduced to other people through family and friends – Getting introduced through a friend or family member is makes it much easier to spark up conversation. If, for some reason, the conversation still doesn’t flow you always have the person that introduced you as your backup. This is a great way to test the water and practice meeting new people. Again, keeping the conversation very positive and light is an important part of meeting someone new. Never delve deep into your sordid past or bring up heavy subjects during this first exchange.
How to Stop Being Shy
Go to parties and clubs – When you’re out at a party or a nightclub people expect you to go over to them and mingle. Though you may get rejected from the occasional conversation it is no big deal and it will help you deal with your fear of rejection. Simply walk away and try again. Do not see it as a failure as you can’t expect to befriend everyone you meet, and often the issue will be with the other individual, not you. Just keep at it and eventually you will spark up a conversation with someone on your wavelength. Getting used to people not wanting to engage and practising speaking with new people that do wish to engage will really help address your confidence issues. After all, confidence, like anything, can be learnt through practice.
Work out your conversation: This might sound silly but it actually works. Before you go in to a conversation, work out what subjects interest you. When you meet someone try and steer the conversation along the lines of those subjects. That way you will have lots to say and your genuine enthusiasm for the topics in question will shine through. The only slight concern that you might have is boring someone on a subject they aren’t interested in, so make sure you keep it light and gauge their interest in it before rambling. Try to involve them in the conversation as much as possible.
Practice relaxing: Many shy people are shy because they experience high levels of anxiety when talking to new individuals. This stress causes their brain to freeze up and mind to go blank. At this point they open their mouth but nothing comes out. The only way to fix this is to relax. Relaxing can only be achieved through practice so think about what kind of environment and circumstances relax you. Then, the next time you try and talk to a new person, visualise this environment before walking over. Hopefully your mind won’t go blank and you will find you have lots to say.
Improve your self esteem: Sometimes a person is shy because they have a low self esteem. They feel that no one would really want to talk to them. This negative attitude towards themselves causes them to feel very self conscious when talking to other people, putting a lot of pressure on themselves before the conversation has even begun. This pressure may even prevent them from placing themselves in the situation in the first place, due to the fear of rejection or embarrassment. With a problem like this the person must address the issue of low self esteem. They should look in the mirror and try to feel good about themselves whilst understanding that they are not being judged. It is only by confronting this issue that they will come out of their shell and really enjoy life.
Unfortunately some people are just generally shy by nature. If it’s not a massive problem to you then perhaps you shouldn’t even try and fix it. After all, it is these little idiosyncrasies that make people interesting. If, however, you are determined in knowing how to stop being shy then try out a few of the techniques listed above, but never change yourself to simply conform to everyone else. You will never truly feel comfortable if you are putting on an act and in fact shyness can be a very endearing quality.