Relationships Guides
How to Prepare for Your First Child
No other event in your life – not marriage, not a new job, not even a month-long vacation to Switzerland – will alter your life as much as your first child. From sleep and work to exercise and running errands, babies will rock your world. Just how can a nine-pound bundle change so much in the course of a day?
Consider your pre-baby routine as it stands now. When you and your spouse want to see a 9:00 movie, you head out and do it. Need a haircut? Make an appointment and go. And when you’re super tired after a long week the Saturday sleep-in is non-negotiable. Newborns have a different idea on how your life should run. They need to eat every three hours. Around the clock. They get fantastically fussy just when your hands are full preparing dinner. And after weeks of getting up at night, when you feel a deep tired ache down to your bones, desperately needing a night (not a day, not a week, but just a single night) off, babies pick that night to randomly wake up at odd hours. Which means you’re up too.
But lest you swear off the whole ordeal, understand that bringing children into the world is a supremely important task. Life as we know it ends without babies. Children simply illuminate how selfish we are with our time. No article or blog can prepare you for that realization, which lies at the core of why babies are so difficult. You’ll simply have to run through the fire knowing that billions of others have done the same and survived. There are, however, a few ways to prepare for selfless giving that break the ice a bit and prepare your current routine for baby.
Select a list of reliable babysitters.
How to Prepare for Your First Child
You will need time away from the baby with your husband. Repeat eight times. Then repeat again. Even as early as a month after delivering, you both need to spend time as a couple, because that’s who you were first. When Junior grows up and hits the road, you don’t go with him. And if you have a ridiculous notion that as long as you stay with your spouse through the child’s early years and then split when he goes to college, you failed as both parent and spouse. The last day of your marriage is more important than the first. So get the sitters lined up and keep dating! Make sure your babysitters (especially for a newborn) are older and have CPR training.
Define “help” to extended visitors.
Don’t wait until birthing recovery (which is amazingly painful and lingering) to let your family know the best way to support you when baby gets home. Define it clearly for your mother-in-law or it will be the most miserable week of your life. The best advice I got was to tell people staying with me to help with cooking, cleaning, and other house stuff so I could relax with our new baby.
Organize your house and keep it clean.
Don’t be insane about it but having a place for everything in your home will make life so much easier when baby arrives. The only thing worse than sleep deprivation is sleep deprivation in a pigsty. Cut the cable to hire a maid if you can’t seem to get it done yourself. Routines for housework are great. I always unload the dishwasher in the morning and stick dirty dishes and utensils in it throughout the day before running it at night. Laundry is done during three days each week. I alternate cleaning the carpet and tile every other day so it stays relatively clean. If you’ve worked until the baby comes this will be a great transition to being homebound for a while. You might be tempted to think the house will stay clean because you’re “at home all day to do it”. Good luck with that.
Find friends with kids and help them out.
Your schedule is wide-open right now, whether you know it or not. Get some buddies who are a bit further along on the journey and soak up any information you can from them. Volunteer to change diapers, feed their little Princess, or just clean house. It becomes immeasurably harder to help each other out after your baby comes, so use your enormous amounts of time and be an extra hand to another new mom. You’ll also get a good refresher on baby care.
Practice 3-minute showers.
I always put my first in the swing in our bathroom while I took a rapid fast shower, since I preferred to nap when she did. While it was a bit over-stimulating to her, it worked out for us in those early weeks. Gone are the days of 20-minute showers followed by half an hour to primp. Even if you make the time to do it when hubby gets home you have other things to worry about. You still need to take a shower and look presentable, but just do the basics.
Play with your new baby equipment.
Open and shut the stroller. Do the same with your play yard. Stock up on all sorts of rechargeable batteries and have them ready for the annoying toys Aunt Mildred gives to you. Practice installing your car seat, removing the infant carrier and lifting the handle up and down. Even stick a baby doll in it! Making these routine things automatic will remove some of the stress after delivery.
Arrange once-a-week help from a friend.
This is different from getting date-night help. Once-a-week help can be from your mom, cousin, or someone else with a young baby. This is your time to get a haircut, grocery shop, or take a long nap if you need it.
Don’t buy a bunch of stuff. Especially not blankets.
Unless you just moved or truly have no friends you will be bestowed with more unnecessary frills than you could hope for. The pint-sized snuggly crib animals and homemade blankets will come out of the woodwork. Plus it’s easier to buy things you know you and your family need. A solid percentage of baby junk is just that. Wait a couple weeks before blowing your wad. And when it comes time to buy baby stuff, buy used or use coupons to save money on a purchase that is likely only going to last a few months before it’s grown out of.
Read two or three baby books, but no more.
The best way to find good baby books is to watch other moms whose children respect them and behave. Then ask them if they would recommend anything that helped them. Most of the literature on the subject of babies is completely contradictory and will drive you insane if you take it at face value. Observe other moms and get the scoop directly from them. Authors and folks with letters after their names don’t know you, your child, nor your unique circumstances.
Stop working early, if you can.
The shift from full-time work to full-time baby is immensely tough. To stop work a couple days before birth and then transition to the home immediately is too much stress, even though many women make that same path. I’m convinced that lack of mental, emotional, and physical preparation for such a life change contributes to post-partum stress. Stop a few weeks early and get your mind set on this meaningful yet daunting shift. You need time to talk with your spouse and outline your new responsibilities.
Avoid intentional sleep deprivation.
Most pregnant women have a tough time sleeping anyway. But there’s no need to “get in the routine” of up every 3 hours. Get your rest now and get to bed early to prepare for the labor marathon and ensuing weeks of sleeplessness. It’s really not that bad. You get to spend time nursing or bottle-feeding your little one. That time is so limited and precious that you’ll eventually miss doing it.
If you’re like I was before children, the thought of giving up every inch of myself for a baby terrified me. Each part of the daily routine is turned over on its head to make way for an infant. What I didn’t expect was the accompanying feeling of acceptance through all of it. We can’t head out with our kid-less friends until midnight. Or eat dinner without having to jump up a dozen times. We cherish things like singing kid songs, going to bed early, and reviewing pictures of the new bundle. But neither of us mind that change. The desire for the things we used to do is gone and we don’t miss it.
How to Be a Good Wife
Getting married to someone is probably one of the most special days in anyone’s life. Marriage is a special bond that two people share, however sometimes things can fall apart. Being aware of how to be a good wife isn’t something that can happen over night and it will take a bit of learning on your part.
Being a Good Wife
Here are a few tips that you might want to consider when looking to be a good wife to your man. Remember, being a good wife requires work and practice, and while no two marriages are alike we feel that these tips should give you a strong foundation.
Listen to him: Listening to your husband is one of the best ways to keep a relationship strong and fresh. Show an interest in what he does and also work out what he might not enjoy. By listening you may be able to stop problems from developing early on. When a husband and wife stop listening to each other the arguments commence. Of course this is a two way process, and he should also be listening to you as well and taking on board your feeling and concerns. A marriage without communication is one without hope.
Show Him Some Respect: Marriage is about give and take. A relationship has its ups and down and you will both go through different issues. You husband will confide in you problems that he has and you must respect these problems. Things that your husband is worried about may not be of concern to you but you must respect his opinion and do what you can to help. Having said that, it is unwise to simply storm in and begin addressing these issues without his involvement as this will only exacerbate the situation. Try to talk them over with him and see what you can do to ease his concerns. Your husband may reveal embarrassing truths about himself but you must not use this as an opportunity to belittle him. If you tease your partner after he confides in you, you will lose a element trust that will be very hard to regain.
Pick your battles: It is inevitable that in a marriage you are going to disagree about certain things. You will have arguments during your married life and it is not abnormal for a couple who spend so much time together to occasionally fight. However, you should be careful to pick your battles and don’t expect to get your own way all the time. When you disagree with your partner, work out whether it is worth causing an argument about. Some issues might be of genuine importance to you but others you realize in hindsight were just sheer pettiness. Marriage is all about making small sacrifices for your husband and part of being a good wife is to know when to argue and know when to swallow your pride and meet him half way.
How to Be a Good Wife
Be Intimate Regularly: Most men feel that intimacy and sex is a very important part of a relationship. It is something that makes them feel very close to you. A good wife will therefore be intimate with her husband regularly. It helps keep the both of you happy with your relationship. While you don’twant to go overboard, making love once a week is probably about right for most couples. If you stop making love with your husband you may find you begin drifting apart. If for some reason you don’t want to be intimate with your husband, discuss the issue with him so that he understands your reasoning.. Too many couples will avoid the subject for too long and before they know it they are more like friends than husband and wife.
Accept Him: Everyone has imperfections in themselves and their personalities. Marrying someone means that you have to accept all his imperfections. Some of them might drive you up the wall but you knew this when you said “I do” at the alter. Be patient with him and if something is really bothering you then just bring it up calmly.
Don’t put too much pressure on him: All you can ask of your man is that he tries his best. Some wives put so much pressure on their husband that they never feel that they can live up to expectations. If your man is working hard make sure you reward him. Don’t set him impossible tasks and even help him out if he is struggling with something whether it be at work or at home.
Keep the romance alive: Even though typically the man is expected to make romantic gestures, the world we live in is changing. A good wife will surprise his man with romantic gestures. These gestures can be as small as buying him a gift or writing him a romantic letter. Other great surprises that involve a little more money includes a mini break or taking him out for a meal. It’s a nice surprise for a wife to do this every now and then for her husband. It shows him how much you care about him and appreciate all he does for you.
Do no nag: One of the stereotypical views of a bad wives is that they nag. Nagging is something that nobody wants to endure. A good wife will therefore not live up to this stereotype. If you want your husband to do something for, you ask him nicely and in a pleasant tone. Don’t keep harassing him over the same issue. If you feel he isn’t pulling his weight, sit him down and express your concerns. There is nothing worse for a man than coming home to a moaning wife after a hard day in the office.
Tips for Being a Good Wife
Being a good wife will not only make your husband a lot happier in your relationship but it will also hopefully encourage him to treat you the same way. Sometimes marriage can feel like a struggle but always remember why you married him and stick by him. These are just a few ideas of what you can do to be a good wife, of course there are almost unlimited things you can do to improve your relationship and only you will know what is right for your marriage.
How to Attract Men
Finding the right person is a problem that everyone has to go through in life. Realizing how to attract men is a challenge that all women have and the more men you attract, the more choice you have in finding that Mr. right.
What Men Find Attractive
In order to understand how to attract men first you must understand what men find attractive. Below are some tips that are sure to help draw men to you.
Do not go out in groups of more than three: In order to get your dream man to come over to you on a night out, he has to have the courage to do so. The larger the group of women, the harder a man finds it to pluck up the courage to come over. If you go out in groups of three or less, it will make it a lot less daunting than a very large group. You will find you are approached by a lot more men when socializing in groups of three or less.
Do not go out with a mixed group: If you are looking to get a man to come over and talk to you when you are on a night out, heading out a mixed group is a massive mistake. If you are in a large group with men and women, men will most likely not approach you. This is because a large group is daunting as mentioned above, but they will also assume that one of the men you are out with is your boyfriend. By going out simply with a group of girls, you will find that the amount of guys that approach you to buy you a drink or start a conversation will drastically go up.
Try to get eye contact: When you are out in a club, it is often viewed as the guys job to come over and talk to you. Giving them signs that you are attracted to them will make the chance of this go up. By giving a little eye contact to a guy, you can show that you are interested in him. Obviously, there is a big difference between giving some eye contact and simply staring at your chosen guy so be careful of that. Not longer than 2 second is usually a good rule of thumb to show him you are interested but not some kind of weird staring woman. If you are a little too shy to stare that gorgeous guy in the eye, try to focus on the spot between his eyes. This allows you to appear to be looking at his eyes without having to face your fears.
How to Attract Men
Do not Expect Gifts: Women that expect a man to buy them all their drinks, meals and gifts are a massive turn off. Though it is very nice for a man to buy you all your drinks and it is quite romantic, you should never expect it. If he goes to pay for a meal, offer to split it. You can even offer to leave the tip if he declines your offer. Even if you do not really intend to pay, the gesture is very nice and many men will respect you for it. By not expecting gifts and meals, you will make a man feel like you like him and not his money. Woman that do expect all this tend to attract the wrong type of man and will eventually find out that they are in love with the money and not the person they are with.
Remember to smile: A guy is much more likely to come over to a girl that is looking like she is enjoying herself as opposed to one that is not. Smiling is not only a way to show that you are enjoying yourself, but it is also something that makes you look far more attractive, friendly, and non-threatening. When a guy is talking to you that you like, make sure you smile so he can tell you are interested in what you are talking about. So many girls go out with a frown on their face and wonder why no guy goes over to them. Body language is a big part of telling a guy that you like him, so make sure he knows you are enjoying yourself.
Keep the small talk positive: Making a first impression of a person is very important. Do not head straight into how serious the world is on your first meeting. Keep the small talk light, positive, and easy to digest. The more serious stuff is something you can reveal after he gets to know you a little. When a guy is talking to a girl on a night out, he just wants someone who is easy to talk to and very cheery. Do not lie to him, but make sure the conversation stays light hearted and fun.
Take care of yourself: When you are first trying to meet a guy there are only a few things he can go on before he builds up the courage to come over to you. One of these are the way you look. Everyone has very different ways they like to look. Make sure that whatever your style, it is presentable. If you are trying to be stylish, make sure your clothes are tidy and not tatty. Make sure you do not smell of something and that your make up looks okay. Generally showing that you care about your appearance, however you dress, is a good start to get the guys living up to talk to you. Do not try to change your style so you attract a certain guy. Instead, simply present yourself the best you can without changing who you are as a person.
Though all these tips are designed to help you attract the right guy, it is important that you do not change yourself too much. At the end of the day, a guy should want to spend time with you because he likes you and not some fake persona you have created. What men find attractive is a genuine personality.
Using these tips are a great way to attract men but you must ensure that they end up falling in love with you and not some front you have put up.
How to Be a Good Boyfriend
Getting the girl of your dreams is the first step, keeping her is the second. Regardless of what people say, girls want a boyfriend to tend to their needs and care about them. This involves learning how to be a good boyfriend and not being the stereotypical bad boy that always gets the good girls. Following a few guidelines without completely changing your personality should ensure that you keep your lady for as long as you can. Knowing how to be a good boyfriend has its benefit as well. Your partner will be happier, the relationship will be more likely to last, and you might receive the same treatment back.
Listen to her needs: Listening to your partner lets you know what is going on with them. A relationship is not just one way. Listening to your partner lets you know how they are feeling. If they are unhappy about something, take a mental note and see if you can change it. Taking a real interest in what they are doing will allow you to connect with them in a way that you probably could not before. Not only will it bring you closer in terms of interests and trust, it will also allow you to stop yourself from making her unhappy.
Be romantic: Many relationships tend to fizzle out because the spark goes. Being romantic not only makes her feel very special, but it also helps to keep the surprise and spark alive. Being romantic does not have to involve spending lots of money; it just means you surprise her with thoughtful gestures. Picking her flowers every now and then, looking after her when she is sick, and writing her a poem are three ways you can be romantic for your partner without having to spend a lot of money. As a boyfriend, if you wish to spend out a little – take her out for a meal or buy a romantic trip away. Being romantic allows your relationship to keep fresh and will prevent you from becoming more friends than lovers. One thing you should be careful of is being romantic all the time. Showering her with gifts 24 hours a day is not always the best thing to do. As soon as she starts to expect these gestures is the beginning of her falling in love with your money and not with you. Romantic gestures should never be expected and they should reflect your personality.
How to Be a Good Boyfriend
Remember the important dates: A relationship should have a few important dates every year that a boyfriend should remember to celebrate. Again, it is not so much the importance of spending money on these dates but making a romantic gesture will go a long way with a girlfriend. Dates such as your year anniversary, Christmas, and her birthday are all dates that you should celebrate with a small gift or gesture. Common gifts for these dates including taking her out for a romantic meal, cooking for her or flowers and chocolates. You can always think outside the box when it comes to presents and by listening to her, you can get her something that is really unique and special to her.
Make A Good Impression On Her Family: Family are one of the few people that you have to impress in order to get the thumbs up to go out with your girlfriend. If your are disliked by her family, it becomes 10 times harder to be in a relationship with her, now some families however hard you try will simply not like you and this is something that you cant help. You must try, however, to make the best impression you can when you meet them. Still be yourself, but make sure you are polite and courteous towards them. Ensure you take an interest in what they do and try to fit in with their conversation. A family just wants to know that their little girl is in safe hands. Getting the seal of approval from her parents can sometimes mean the difference of the relationship working or failing.
Care to Her Needs: Caring to your partner’s needs is a big part of being a good boyfriend. As mentioned above, listening to her allows you to know what she wants and needs. Being able to care for her needs comes from listening to her. If she is ill, you should look after her when you can. If she needs help with something, you should try to ensure you try to help her. Obviously, there is a point you should draw the line when she starts to demand too much, but doing those small things help to make you irreplaceable to her.
Be yourself: This is probably one of the most important points on the list. Even though everything above makes you a good boyfriend make sure you do not try to be something you are not. At the end of the day, if she cannot fall in love with the person that you are – you should not be together. Changing small parts of yourself to make you more caring is still a great thing to do but do not try to be something you are not. Sometimes, two people just are not compatible with each other and being something you are not will just prolong you both finding that out. Being yourself also allows the two of you to get close to each other.
Being a Good Boyfriend
Each girl is completely different and you will find that what one might like, the other might lot. For instance, a lot of girls like pampering and taking care of but some girls simply do not. Being a good boyfriend means making sure you listen to her needs. Get a feel for what she likes and what she does not. Try to adapt accordingly. One of the biggest secrets of being a good boyfriend is simply adapting to what she wants by listening to her. Unique, non-generic gestures really are the way to many girls’ hearts, but you will not know what those are until you really know her well.
How to Attract a Woman
Attracting a woman can sometimes be a daunting prospect to anyone. It seems that when it comes to women, most men are far from being experts. In reality, comprehending how to attract a woman is not hard as long as a person follows a simple set of guidelines. At the end of the day, a woman should like a man for who they are, so you should never change yourself too much in order to attract one.
Tips for Attracting Beautiful Women
Here are some tips for attracting beautiful women. The guidelines below are simply a few simple adjustments a person can make to themselves without having to pretend they are something they are not.
Dress Smartly – Too many men wonder why they do not get women while wearing a tattered old jumper and a dirty pair of jeans. The truth is that the majority of women like men who know how to take care of their clothes. Dressing fashionably and smartly says two things to a women – namely that you have pride in your appearance. In addition, wearing sharp clothing indicates that you know what is going on and you are probably a switched on individual. A trendy t-shirt and well-polished shoes are normally a good start.
Present a well-groomed exterior – This follows on closely from the dressing smartly point above. It is all about taking care of a person’s appearance. The majority of women are looking for a man that can look after them, if a person does not look like he can look after himself, it hardly gives off the right impression. A well-groomed individual who takes care of his beard, hair etc gives off the right impression to women. An aftershave is always a nice added extra.
Talk about them – So you have managed to pluck up the courage to talk to a girl and she seems to have your attention. There is no bigger turn off to a woman than men who want to talk about themselves all the time. A man who asks a woman about herself and shows interests in their life is far more likely to spark romance. Simply listening to what a woman has to say about herself and asking her interesting productive questions about what she has to say will almost always help a man get the girl. Though obviously, a woman does want to know a little about the person she is dating
How to Attract a Woman
Make them laugh – There is nothing a woman loves more than a man that can make them laugh. You will normally find that women have already gone down the road of meeting an incredibly good-looking guy with no personality and have made the mistake of dating them. Women want a guy that can make them smile and laugh to spend time with, not one with rock hard abs who has less personality than a stone. Though ideally, the perfect man would possess both.
Be confident – Confidence is something that not many men have. You will find that the majority of men that are successful with women are very confident. Confidence is something that can be learned and can be learned through practice and positive thinking. As soon as a person starts to believe in themselves and not so much what others think, they start to come out of their shell. Too many guys are very timid and in order to attract a woman, a guy has to stand out from the crowd. A lady likes a man to take a risk and show her how much he wants her, as opposed to timidly waiting in the corner for her to look over and approach him.
Be very romantic – A very attractive quality in a man is romance. Women really like old school romance. Opening the door for them and taking them out for meals is a sure way to get a girl to give you a chance. If a man does not want to spend too much, he does not have to. Flowers are a very romantic cheaper alternative to taking her out for a meal. The thought is what counts and money doesn’t buy love – kind and thoughtful gestures, on the other hand do. Some inexpensive ideas include taking her out for a romantic picnic, writing her a poem, or even baking her a cake.
Remember those important dates – showing a woman that you care is something that will make you much more attractive to them. Remembering to send flowers or make special gestures on those special dates in the year will really help you stay attractive to your women. Important dates that should probably have some sort of gesture include anniversaries, birthdays, Christmas, Easter, and the ever important “just because.”
Never be afraid of rejection – Typically, most guys’ nightmares are to walk up to beautiful woman attempting to talk to her, only to be horribly rejected. To the everyday guy, this is some sort of dent to their ego and hence, they avoid these situations. The reality is that women like confident men. A guy has to stop thinking about it being a rejection but rather him finding the right match. As soon as a man realises that rejection is something we go through every day in life, the faster he will have the confidence to find the right woman for himself. Seeing a girl that you like and deciding not to talk to her is a missed opportunity. If she decides that you are not her type, so be it. Simply move on to the next girl that you are interested in.
Each woman is different and what one might find attractive another might not. Understanding how to attract a woman means that a person must find one that is right for them, and there is definitely a woman out there for every individual. Try to make sure that a woman is not attracted to you for the wrong reasons, such as money or gifts. In the end, you need a girl that shares some passions that you have and you get on. These techniques on attracting beautiful women are here to help you but you are still in charge of finding your perfect match afterwards.
If you’re trying to attract a beautiful woman online, you should start with the best dating websites. Because, well…the worst dating websites, by definition, aren’t going to help you find the most beautiful women are they?
How to Be a Good Husband
Getting married to a wonderful woman is a great part of any mans life. After the ceremony and the honeymoon however, we are faced with the reality of making it work. Knowing how to be a good husband is not always easy but is crucial for an enduring marriage. By taking the time to learn how to be a good husband not only will she benefit but so will you as she endeavours to reciprocate the efforts made.
Guide to Being a Good Husband
This good husband guide will outline some examples of behaviors a good husband should portray. As with all things in life, being a good husband requires work and practice.
Don’t allow your issues to affect the marriage: Living with someone day in day out can sometimes mean that non marital issues, such as problems at work, can creep into the domestic environment. This is not how to maintain a happy relationship. A good husband will deal with his personal issues without taking it out on his wife. If you are having problems at work let your partner knows about it but don’t take the issues out on her. After all, she is not the cause of these problems and why let issues in one aspect of your life adversely impact another previously healthy aspect of your life.
Listen to her: Part of a marriage is being there for the other person. Your wife isn’t going to be happy all the time so make an effort to listen to her problems. Women will worry about a lot of different things that are not of concern to their husbands but if it is important to her then it should be important to you. However, she also will not always want you to be the person to solve the problem she voices; sometimes a wife just wants her husband to listen. Even if you think you might be able to solve the problem make sure you run it past your wife before you decide to take action. Listening to her also allows you to know exactly how she is feeling, what she enjoys and whether or not she is finding anything hard. Don’t be self obsessed and only worry about your own issues; your wife is part of the marriage as well.
How to Be a Good Husband
Keep The Romance Alive: One mistake a lot of marriages commonly make is a lack of romance. As a husband it should be your job to keep the romance alive. Romantic gestures are not that difficult and they go a long way in keeping a relationship exciting. Of course when you get married you get a lot of extra responsibilities but still try to keep the time to surprise your partner with romantic gestures. Taking your wife out for a meal, even making it yourself or buying her a gift are just a few ways you an show how much she means to you. It will also help the relationship to stay fresh. Married couples sometimes find that they end up being more like friends than husband and wife. Romance is something that will help to prevent that from happening.
Show her respect: There are a lot of things that men and women will typically disagree on. Making sure you treat all her opinions with respect, even if you don’t necessarily agree with them, is what a good husband should do. If you don’t agree with something she says then listen to her point in its entirety before voicing your own opinion. Sometimes you will have to make sacrifices to please her needs and on other occasions you should remain steadfast to get your point across. A marriage is never all about you or all about her; it is a compromise between the both of you.
Don’t Judge Her: The reason you are married to your partner is partly because of the trust that exists between you. Part of her trust is that she can tell you anything in complete comfort. This means that you should not be too quick to judge. Being married means you will both let each other into parts of your life that you might not be completely proud of. By reserving judgement and just being supportive to her problems goes a very long way towards being a good husband. Sometimes it is just better to keep your thoughts to yourself.
Work Hard: Women are attracted to men that are good providers. Make sure that you work hard and do your best to provide her with the standard of living that she deserves. The more you can provide for your family, the better husband you will become. You don’t have to be a multimillionaire but as long as your family know that you are working as hard as you can to provide for them that is all they can ask.
Be Honest: Honesty is the cornerstone of any healthy marriage. Some husbands keep certain things to themselves, such as when they are having trouble at work or when money is tight. However, by being open with your wife you can address these issues as a team and they will be less likely to get the better of you. Never keep important parts of your life from you wife because when she finds out there will almost certainly be repercussions. Your wife will feel let down and the sense of closeness you once shared will be gone for good.
When it comes to being a husband you can’t be completely perfect in all respects. All you wife can ask is that you to try your hardest and avoid becoming complacent in the marriage. As long as you manage to do that and occasionally surprise her with gestures of romance and love, then you are being the best husband you can be.
How to Know When a Relationship is Over
The end of a relationship is a hard moment for anyone. Sadly, however, it is something that the majority of us are going to have to endure before we find the right partner to settle down with. Understanding how to know when a relationship is over can make the end of a relationship much easier to handle. Unfortunately not every person that we decide to date is the right one for us; part of finding the right person is experimenting. We usually have to experience a few different relationships to know that we’ve finally met the right person. It’s natural to have second thoughts about a relationship and below are some of the more common signs that you probably aren’t compatible for each other in the long term.
Signs a Relationship is Ending
Signs a Relationship Is Over
Ultimately you will normally have a gut feeling yourself when you feel that a relationship might be over. There are many tell tale signs a relationship is ending and although you may not be at the stage of having a gut feeling, it’s worth reviewing the points we’ve listed below. If you recognise a couple then perhaps the alarm bells should start ringing.
You don’t have much in common: One of the common failures of many relationships is that the two people involved are attracted by shallow qualities. It is very easy to fall for the best looking boy or girl in the class, however looks are not something you can build a relationship on in the long run. If you are finding that you do not have anything in common with your partner then it is probably time to begin rethinking the relationship. Your partner should make you laugh and should share some common interests with you. If you are both interested in completely different things and as a result you don’t particularly enjoy spending time with one another it may be time to accept the relationship is over.
Your partner has started to become very distant: When one person in the relationship starts to act distantly, it is sometimes a sign that they are no longer interested in the relationship. Of course there are many other reasons why a partner might become distant but the harsh reality is that they may simply no longer wish to be with you. If a partner stops wanting to speak to you on the phone, starts to blow off your dates and generally seems indifferent towards you then there is probably a good chance the relationship is coming to an end. Even if they still want to be with you, do you really want to be with someone who treats you like that?
How to Know When a Relationship is Over
The spark has gone: A spark in a relationship is a very important factor. The spark is what keeps you attracted to each other, what distinguishes you from just being friends and what keeps the relationship exciting. It is a sad fact that sometimes relationships just lose this spark and you fall into a rut. When the spark goes it is important to try and get it back. Make sure you discuss your worries with your partner and do what you can to fix it. Ultimately, however, if you can’t get that spark back then it could be a compelling reason to end the relationship and look elsewhere. Your partner should keep you feeling exciting and attractive and not just a friend. As soon as you start to fall into the trap of acting like friends and not being romantic it can sometimes spell the end of a relationship.
Constant arguing: Arguing is a very natural part of a relationship. Couples have to argue and it is sometimes healthy to get a problem off your chest. However, constant arguing can spell the downfall of any relationship. Some people are just naturally argumentative and a lot of successful couples argue frequently, however if one day out of the blue you suddenly begin arguing, it could mean that you have both out grown each other. It is important to work out what you want in a relationship; if you don’t mind arguing and you are quite an argumentative person then perhaps this is an acceptable part of the relationship. If, however, you don’t want to argue but you seem to be bickering endlessly then you need to rethink whether you are the right people for each other. Sometimes two individuals just aren’t compatible despite the early sparks of excitement.
You are no longer attracted to them: Though this sounds like a harsh point it is valid nonetheless. In order for a relationship to work, you have to be attracted to your partner. The mistake many people make is thinking that this is only relies on looks. You should be attracted to your partners’ personality, looks and everything else about them. Sometimes you can find that you are no longer attracted to your partner because throughout the time you have known them they have changed. This is a very clear sign that the relationship is actually over and is one of the most common causes of breakups. As we get older, we change a great deal. Sometimes the person we are with does not change with us and we start to find we no longer have much in common. It is a harsh reality but you shouldn’t hold on to something that is no longer there.
Ending a relationship is not a decision that should be taken lightly. Try not to break up with your partner on the spur of the moment or because of other issues in your life that are getting you down. Make sure you sleep on big decisions and think rationally before acting.
How to Be a Good Girlfriend
Getting a boyfriend is a great feeling for any girl. Keeping him and treating him right will ensure that your relationship stays on track. Being a good girlfriend is great for your boyfriend and your relationship. An added bonus is if you treat him right he is more than likely to return the favour and you will both be walking on cloud nine.
Tips for Being a Good Girlfriend
Here are a few creative tips for being a good girlfriend.
Be Romantic: A guy loves nothing more than his girlfriend to surprise him with a romantic gesture. Traditionally it was the mans job to be romantic but times have definitely changed in that respect. Treat your boyfriend to a romantic surprise such as a mini break, romantic meal or love poem. Your romantic gesture isn’t measured by the money spent, it is measured by the thought and effort made. Your boyfriend will really appreciate it if you go the extra mile and really think outside the box with your romantic gesture.
Be Honest: Trust and relationships are built on honesty. Lying to your boyfriend is only going to cause problems in the long run. Making small lies that you feel aren’t a big deal can end up causing long term issues between you as he might question other things you have said to him. Be honest with him and remember, it only takes one lie to ruin a relationship and to lose all that trust you have spent months to develop. Even if you have done something you regret, telling him is far better than him finding out on his own.
Show an interest in him: Men and Women are very different from one another. You won’t be interested in everything he is interested in but at least try to understand why it matters to him. By showing you care about these things he cares about you will build trust and respect. A relationship where neither party make an effort to understand the things that matter to the other, is one that is doomed to fail.
How to Be a Good Girlfriend
Be Sexy: Men are attracted to sexy women who aren’t afraid to seduce them. You don’t constantly have to act sexy but doing it every now and then will keep your man extremely interested. Men love a sexy, confident, powerful woman who isn’t afraid to get what they want. If you demonstrate these qualities every now and then you will have him gagging for more.
Keep it slow: There is nothing worse than someone who wants too much too soon. When you are first getting to know your boyfriend just hold back a little. If you try and move things too fast you might scare him off. Even if you want to make a huge gesture, it’s best just to hold back at the beginning. Gradually let him know how you feel and see what he offers in return. Hopefully he will feel the same and eventually you can show him exactly what he means to you.
Keep strong communication: To build a relationship you need to communicate regularly. This may sound obvious but many couples fail to do this. Communicating means you need to listen to what is going on with your partner. Pay attention to his needs, worries and passions. By communicating with him you can talk over any concerns he might have before they develop into something insurmountable. Letting these concerns bottle up will achieve nothing other than destroy your relationship in the long run.
Being reliable: While small surprises are always good in a relationship, the majority of people will want to be with someone who is reliable. This means that you shouldn’t be constantly cancelling dates or commitments you have made with your partner. Your boyfriend should be able to rely on you to be there for him when he needs you. This builds up trust and makes your much more special in his eyes.
Don’t Nag Him: One of the worst stereotypes of a woman is the nagger. Make sure you don’t fall into this category. If you have any issues bring them up without making him feel like you are being overly negative. If he continues to irritate you then bring it up again but still without nagging. Always keep a positive attitude when talking to your boyfriend. If he decides to keep doing what you have brought up then you need to decide whether or not this is a big problem for you. If it is you might want to pick a fight to try and rectify the situation. Whatever you do don’t continuously go on about the same thing over and over. Give him a chance to address the issue and if he doesn’t then be honest about how unhappy you are about it.
Be Yourself: A boyfriend wants to fall in love with the real you. It can sometimes be hard to be yourself with your boyfriend straight away so ease into it slowly. If he doesn’t like what he sees that is his problem. Your boyfriend should love you for who you are and not what he wants you to be. Everyone puts up a front when they first meet someone and it may take time before you feel comfortable enough to show your true colours. However, eventually this will come and, if not, then it is probably not a relationship with any real future. Don’t feel like you have to change to suit his needs. If he feels you are being yourself around him, you will probably also get to know the real him.
How to Know When Someone is Lying
Being lied to is one of the worst things a person can go through. It plays on the individuals mind and what’s more they are in a no win situation. If they confront the individual without clear evidence of the deception they will appear untrusting and petty. However, if they are indeed being lied to and don’t approach the subject they will look and feel like a fool. This is why learning how to know when someone is lying is so important.
Before we delve into these signs you should ask yourself some questions regarding your suspicions. The first is do you really want to know why someone is lying? Sometimes finding out someone is being deceitful can mean uncovering something someone is embarrassed about. With this in mind, make sure its something that you really need to find out about rather than a case of just being nosy. Uncovering an embarrassing secret about a friend should not be the main motivation about finding out if someone is lying to you or not.
The second is to ask the question why someone might feel the need to lie to you? Sometimes people accuse others of lying because they are mistrustful of them in general, without any particular evidence relating to the matter in question. Many relationships are ruined this way because of jealousy and unreasonable accusations, so be careful to get your facts right. If you really do have solid grounds for believing they are trying to mislead you then ultimately you will need to ask the question, is this someone that you really want to be friendly with? After all, no enduring relationship can be build upon a bed of mistrust.
How to Spot Lies
So if you have noticed someone acting strangely and you feel it really is important you find out whether or not they are behaving dishonestly, then you should look at these tips on how to spot lies:
Inconsistencies from the truth – Lies can be picked apart very easily because one big lie usually requires a few very small lies to be present as well. If you suspect someone to be lying to you, ask them a little more about the issue in question. If they aren’t lying they won’t mind answering the questions,. If, on the other hand, they are lying then they will be visibly uncomfortable as they are forced to weave further lies on the spot. If this is the case it should set the alarm bells ringing. However, if they appear calm and answer your detail in a cool and relaxed fashion then in all probability it was all just a misunderstanding and you have skilfully avoided the need for a false accusation.
How to Know When Someone is Lying
Suspicious behavior – When someone is telling lies consistently their behaviour normally changes. Typically they will either become very friendly with you, almost “sucking up” (particularly if they feel bad about the lies they are telling). Otherwise they may become a lot more distant towards you. This is more likely if they do not feel guilty about the lies. They may rationalise their actions by convincing themselves the lies are justified, perhaps because of some ill deed on your part. They may also feel that by distancing themselves from you they are less likely to trip over the web of lies they themselves have spun. If you are close to the individual then this should be highly apparent. Of course if you weren’t previously that close to the individual anyway then it becomes that much harder to evaluate their new behaviour.
Body Language Changes – When someone is lying their body language may also change. Someone who isn’t lying is generally comfortable and under no pressure. Someone who is lying on the other hand, tends to feel much more under pressure and their body language will change. They may fidget and struggle to make eye contact. Again, in order to analyse this body language you must first know the individual reasonably well, otherwise you have no point of reference. After all, we all act very differently in even honest circumstances. Some people naturally fidget or appear uncomfortable in social scenarios, so without prior knowledge of their body language this judgment becomes near impossible.
Notice stress levels – A person lying is typically more stressed than one who is not. By evaluating how stressed a person appears can provide you with a clear indication of whether or not they are lying. Now a small lie would not cause significant increase of stress levels. A much larger lie, however, which goes on for a little longer, such as cheating on a partner, would probably cause a noticeable difference in stress levels. Again, on its own increased stress levels can be due to a number of different stimuli so it is important not to read to much into this single factor.
Avoiding a subject – some people will try to avoid the truth. In their eyes they do not see it as a lie but in reality the avoidance of the truth is just another method of achieving the same ends, deception. This happens when people don’t want to address a subject and will generally try to avoid the subject in conversation. Steering away from a topic can actually be a very hard thing to notice if a person does it discretely. It is usually very obvious after the 3rd or 4th time of trying to broach a topic though. If you suspect a person of doing this just keep steering the conversation back to the subject and see where it leads.
It is important that if you do accuse someone of lying that you do it diplomatically. 9 times out of 10 you will not get anywhere by blunt accusations as that will only serve to exacerbate the problem. By slowly bringing it up without being aggressive, the individual is much more likely to come out with the truth. Alternatively, if it becomes an ongoing issue, you may have know choice but to be more direct. Just make sure you have thought the situation through and are not acting on impulse. Always sleep on such a decision and give yourself time to think rationally.
How to Stop Being Shy
Some people are natural extrovert and some are natural introverts. Being shy isn’t the end of the world but for many it can have a genuinely very suppressive impact on their lives. Addressing this issue is not straightforward and but it is only by confronting it that you can begin understanding how to stop being shy. It will most likely be very uncomfortable at first but it’s a pain that will get easier gradually, to the point when eventually it is just a thing of the past and you no longer fear social interaction at all.
How to Overcome Shyness
There are many advantages in learning how to overcome shyness. You will tend to meet more people and come across more opportunities. Rightly or wrongly, a confident individual will tend to make a better first impression than someone lacking confidence.
Make an effort to meet people – You can’t stop being shy if you’re not meeting new people. Staying inside the house and becoming a recluse will only reinforce and deepen your insecurities. However, by confronting the issue head on the process of building your confidence will soon begin. By heading out regularly to places where you could meet people such as coffee shops, libraries and supermarkets is a great place to begin. To make this process as comfortable as possible you should go somewhere that makes you feel comfortable. Ideally it should also be a place that interests you, as this interest can then be shared with other people. It’s always easier to talk to someone with similar passions to your own.
Make an effort to strike up conversations – This will be very difficult for a shy individual initially, but it is completely necessary if they are to become more confident. You just have to bite your lip and get on with it. As long as you don’t act strange it shouldn’t be an embarrassing ordeal. Just make small talk about subjects that you have in common, don’t prolong the conversation too long and when you feel it is coming to a end just say your good byes and walk away. Not every conversation you have is going to go well, but they wont go too badly if you just keep everything light hearted and easy. Also try to keep the conversation focused on the other person. People love to talk about themselves and it will take the pressure off you to seem interesting.
Get Introduced to other people through family and friends – Getting introduced through a friend or family member is makes it much easier to spark up conversation. If, for some reason, the conversation still doesn’t flow you always have the person that introduced you as your backup. This is a great way to test the water and practice meeting new people. Again, keeping the conversation very positive and light is an important part of meeting someone new. Never delve deep into your sordid past or bring up heavy subjects during this first exchange.
How to Stop Being Shy
Go to parties and clubs – When you’re out at a party or a nightclub people expect you to go over to them and mingle. Though you may get rejected from the occasional conversation it is no big deal and it will help you deal with your fear of rejection. Simply walk away and try again. Do not see it as a failure as you can’t expect to befriend everyone you meet, and often the issue will be with the other individual, not you. Just keep at it and eventually you will spark up a conversation with someone on your wavelength. Getting used to people not wanting to engage and practising speaking with new people that do wish to engage will really help address your confidence issues. After all, confidence, like anything, can be learnt through practice.
Work out your conversation: This might sound silly but it actually works. Before you go in to a conversation, work out what subjects interest you. When you meet someone try and steer the conversation along the lines of those subjects. That way you will have lots to say and your genuine enthusiasm for the topics in question will shine through. The only slight concern that you might have is boring someone on a subject they aren’t interested in, so make sure you keep it light and gauge their interest in it before rambling. Try to involve them in the conversation as much as possible.
Practice relaxing: Many shy people are shy because they experience high levels of anxiety when talking to new individuals. This stress causes their brain to freeze up and mind to go blank. At this point they open their mouth but nothing comes out. The only way to fix this is to relax. Relaxing can only be achieved through practice so think about what kind of environment and circumstances relax you. Then, the next time you try and talk to a new person, visualise this environment before walking over. Hopefully your mind won’t go blank and you will find you have lots to say.
Improve your self esteem: Sometimes a person is shy because they have a low self esteem. They feel that no one would really want to talk to them. This negative attitude towards themselves causes them to feel very self conscious when talking to other people, putting a lot of pressure on themselves before the conversation has even begun. This pressure may even prevent them from placing themselves in the situation in the first place, due to the fear of rejection or embarrassment. With a problem like this the person must address the issue of low self esteem. They should look in the mirror and try to feel good about themselves whilst understanding that they are not being judged. It is only by confronting this issue that they will come out of their shell and really enjoy life.
Unfortunately some people are just generally shy by nature. If it’s not a massive problem to you then perhaps you shouldn’t even try and fix it. After all, it is these little idiosyncrasies that make people interesting. If, however, you are determined in knowing how to stop being shy then try out a few of the techniques listed above, but never change yourself to simply conform to everyone else. You will never truly feel comfortable if you are putting on an act and in fact shyness can be a very endearing quality.
How to Ask a Girl to Be Your Girlfriend
How to Ask a Girl to Be Your Girlfriend in High School
First of all, if you do not already have a girlfriend, you have to be sure to consider the question of whether you are truly ready to take on the project of having a girlfriend. Assuming you have already weighed all the factors such as how much time and money this endeavor is going to consume, and you still want to proceed, then there are some key factors to think about. Here are some things to think about before you even start to wonder how to ask a girl to be your girlfriend.
Date First
How to Ask a Girl to Be Your Girlfriend
Have the two of you already dated at all? If not, get started by asking her out for a date first. She’s not going to really know if she wants to be your “steady” until she’s gone on some dates with you.
Or, if dating isn’t really an option because you’re too young (e.g., you don’t yet drive or your parents won’t let you go out without adult supervision), then you’re looking more for a girlfriend status symbol. (You were probably looking for “how to ask a girl to be your girlfriend in middle school.”) This might be the most affordable option actually, because you can tell people you have a girlfriend without having to shell out so much as a dollar on a date.
You Are Committed
How to Ask a Girl to Be Your Girlfriend
If you have already dated this girl, then the steps to ask her to be your steady girlfriend are something like this:
- Tell her that you have enjoyed dating her. Tell her what she does to your heart. You likely are restless at night, not sleeping well. You might be losing a bit of weight. You probably are having trouble concentrating on school or work. That’s what falling in love can do to a person.
- Tell her that there’s no one else you’re interested in dating. She’s the one.
- Be polite and thoughtful. Listen to her. Respect her privacy. If she doesn’t want to be a girlfriend (yet), don’t pressure her. Getting a firm “No” now may just be a prelude to getting a “Yes” later. Don’t ruin your chances by flying off the handle.
If the “commitment” word makes you squirm, you’re not ready for this. Go back to merely dating.
The Intangibles
There are other things that will help.
- In more formal eras, the male would have asked the female’s father for permission to date. That rarely happens these days, but one thing that can help significantly is if you do get to know her family. Having parental approval will help increase your odds that she will say yes. Getting along well with her brothers or sisters is also a plus.
- Dates don’t have to be lavishly expensive. Dates can be meeting at the library to study, or going to church together. If you spend too much money on her, she may feel guilty and your bank account will be depleted.
- As difficult as this is, you need to keep your physical passion in check. People make a lot of mistakes and bad decisions when they mistake physical contact for falling in love. Get to know her. Talk about things. Find your common areas; find where you’re different. Where do you and she want to be in five or ten years, career wise.
- As silly as this sounds, consider this question. Is this girl someone that you really want to marry someday? If the answer is no, then you should consider whether you want to date her in the first place. If yes, why? If no, then you’re back in square one.
You can learn more about how to ask a girl to be your girlfriend in college or in other situations on the Internet at the following pages: